1. BE REAL. Are you trying to be friends with someone to be accepted into a certain clique, or because you'd like to get to know someone else that he or she knows? That's not friendship, it's opportunism. Every new person you meet has the right to be accepted (or not) on his or her own merits, it's better to just be yourself than let anyone else influence you into being someone you are not.

2. BE HONEST. A dishonest person has no chance of having true friends. Keep your promises, do what you say you are going to do, and most importantly, don't lie! Lying is when you say "Okay, I will...", but you never will: people will eventually figure you out. If you found yourself lying about doing things, then not trying to keep your word. Admit how you felt, as well as how you may think that he or she might have felt (Explain that you were second-guessing that you felt like you had to say "Yes..." -- rather than trusting your friendship and just saying "I can't." -- or "I don't know when I'll have time..."). Be dependable.

3. BE LOYAL. If your friend tells you something in confidence, don't talk about it to anyone else.Don't discuss your friend behind his/her back except when it involves the other person, and you won't just make it worse. Nobody likes a gossip or backstabber. Never say anything about your friend that you would not really want to repeat face to face. Don't let others say bad things about your friend until you've had a chance to hear your friend's side of the story. If someone says something that shocks you and doesn't seem like a thing your friend would do or say, then

respond as, "I know him/her, and that just doesn't sound right. Let me talk to him/her, find out his/her perspective on this. If it turns out to be true, I'll let you know. Until then, I would appreciate it, if you didn't spread that around, because that might not be what was really meant or intended..

But, you can't play both sides of the fence. Agree with one -- or the other... not with both sides! But don't accuse either one without a real reason.

4. Be respectful. Know the boundaries. Things you and your friend discuss should be treated with care - your friend is not sharing this information with just anyone, and may not want to. She shared it with you - and only you, as far as you know. Example: If your friend doesn't want to name her crush, don't push her into it. If she has named her crush, don't tell anyone else. This is just common courtesy anyone and everyone deserves the expectation that you will keep confidences.

5. If your friend is going through a crisis -- don't say: "Everything is going to be all right." -- if it's not going to be. This goes right along with keeping it real. It's hard not to say that sometimes, but false reassurance can often be worse than none, and it may undermine your friend's ability to get through the crisis as well as one might. Instead, tell your friend that "Whatever you decide or need, I am there for you." If the need is to talk: talk; if it's to sit quietly: sit there. If the need is to relax and get your minds off of things, offer to take in a movie or concert "together." Give a sincere hug, if you are friends -- not strangers, after all. Stay honest, but upbeat and positive. Even a stranger would appreciate a sincere word or possibly a gesture of a "quick" hug, or a hand rubbed across the back for just "a moment," but don't overdo it.

6. Never make a promise you know you can't keep. Good friendship is based on trust - if you break a friend's trust, the friendship may be very hard to salvage. Of course, if you have made a promise and planned to keep it, but circumstances beyond your control conspire to prevent it, let your friend know as soon as you find out. Don't wait until 15 minutes after you were supposed to arrive to call and say, "gee, I'm sorry." Instead, a quick call to say, "Hey, I know I promised to help you with whatever it is, but my mom is telling me we are going to my aunt's for the weekend, and leaving tomorrow just after school - that means I won't be able to make it. I'm so sorry. Can we reschedule?" That's just honoring the fact that your friend is counting on you, and respecting the fact that, given a little notice, your friend might just be able to get someone else to help with whatever it was - or not, whatever. But at least you won't be hanging your friend out to twist in the wind.

7. Listen. you don't have to agree -- just listen to what is said. Make sure to stop talking to listen -- so you are not just running your mouth. Some people don't really find it interesting listening to someone talk about your/their feelings 24/7. If you're monopolizing every conversation with your feelings, the friend isn't getting anything out of the relationship (Don't sigh and groan like the world is against you. Seek help elsewhere and try to stop being paranoid.). Invite sharing hearts with you as often as you would share your heart -- but not so you have a monopoly on the friends time or have some juicy gossip or a cut down like to do to "teach a lesson" to your friend. A long or hard lesson may not be practical or appreciated at all.

8. Live by the golden rule. Always treat a friend as you would want to be treated. If you don't -- there will be repercussions. Don't do or say anything that you wouldn't want done to you. Be there through thick and thin as long as that is how you feel as a true friend. Don't begrudge everything as a favor that has to be repaid immediately

9. Don’t keep score. Who called who last? Who bought lunch last? Who spent the most on Christmas gifts? Who forgot whose birthday? Who cares? If you have a good friend, cut a little slack. If your friendship really isn’t that great, then maybe you need to re-evaluate it. The health benefits of friendship will outlast the score-keeping cards.

10. Notice the little stuff. The conversations that matter the most are the quick little ones that last only a few minutes. It’s not always the deep long heart-to-hearts that bond friends together -- it's the day to day minutiae of everyday life. One way to be a good friend is to have short, sweet conversations.

11. Focus on the positive. We all have quirks and weaknesses; focusing on your friend’s strengths and wonderful qualities will keep your friendship alive and strong. To be a good friend, forget about the things you wish were different

so, what's your definition of good friend? have you been honest enough?